Archaic Names And Identity Crises

The need for a brighter name is an essential requirement for people of any generation as demonstrated by two friends of mine. Like actors of every generation, my friend Vineeth Ullanat Chembuzha, who realized he will get nowhere in film industry with that surname, changed it to Vineeth Viswam and now already has five films to his credit. Or his namesake Vineeth S, who has been experimenting with his surname since I first met him. He first changed his surname to his birthplace of Kottakal, then switched back to his father's name. A year later he added his mother's name with his name. Now he has his company name (a spoken English school he started) as his last name. The kind of socialist he is, pretty sure he'll adopt his wife's first name followed by his son's first name as his surname in future.

Couple of days ago, I read this article which claimed names determined the kind of character you will be perceived as. The article asserts that name can have an influence on the career path one might choose to follow. Usain Bolt would agree. So will both Vineeths, for that matter.

My real name, the name my father whispered into my ears twenty eight days after I was born was Sreekumaran. Of course after my grandfather Sreekumaran, the senior. You see, according to the traditions followed in a priestly community in which I was born into, a child is named after his/her grandfather/mother. But as my father recognized, this name wasn't fancy enough for the twenty first century, hence he changed it to Sharat when he enrolled me in a school.

The Voice

The voice… yes the voice. It was louder now. It is speaking to him. He had tried to avoid it all day, but it has followed him and it has got to him at last. He could not move his legs… His hands were paralyzed. The voice… it has held him down with some invisible force.

It cleared its throat…

‘Hi there?’ it said. That was his own voice, wasn’t it?

Pursuit of Happiness

CHAPTER I

Prince John the I^st was feeling blue. Not that there are many emotions that can be assigned to him, and most of the time he felt blue, but this was a special occasion. Unlike other occasions, He did have a reason for it this time.  It all started two hours earlier when the future princess-to-be mentioned to him, rather stiffly, that he is always feeling blue and should do something about this. He began to analyze the whole reason as to why he is feeling blue. He certainly cannot neglect Princess-to-be’s concerns. Anyway, Conventional wisdom told him that people who are smart are most successful and happy, but the present situation suggested otherwise. Certainly he was smart by all means but not successful and definitely not happy. And a modest examination of the phenomenon called Bollywood reveals that stupidity is more revered trait among men. He considered his friends he had met online where they all played with words. They all were very intellectually rich but in all of their intellectual banters the Prince could discern a sense of disappointment which was very familiar to him. Logically hence, it followed that conventional wisdom is wrong.

Trolling the Spammers

Sometimes back I received a spam mail while I was at work.

Well, a business proposal, wow! I decided to reply to Dr. Adam Jones. In my defense, I was at work and I was very very bored.

Interim

As long as you don’t choose, everything remains possible.

Present

Hari looked at his phone and thought hard on what he was going to do. He was deciding on whether or not to ask her out… on a date. They have been talking for a long time now, he doesn’t remember. She was fun and all, and its time he should make a move. But then, he didn’t want to be disappointed again. He was unsure of himself. He didn’t want to get rejected again. He remembered how excited he had felt, when he found himself in a similar situation and had made that call to Her a long time back. That was exactly a year ago.

Adrift

‘tat tvam asi:’

- you are what you seek

He wasn’t outwardly plain. Though, it appears so from outside, his mental processes were far from simple. He had an insincere character. He was the awkward child. As a kid he was nasty and had a wicked demeanor. He wasn’t the hated one, but they all could do away with him.

Beginner's Guide to Essential Bengali

Bengali is a beautiful language. I know every language is beautiful and all, but Bengali has a special charm. It’s really cute… especially when spoken by the womenfolks there. Try getting on an elevator with two Bengali women talking to each other or sitting behind them on a bus, you will know what I mean.  I was never so aroused by any Hindi/English/Malayalam women talking to each other, ever.

A LETTER TO THE NATION

Parvathy Ramesh is the first guest writer to this blog. In her facebook profile, she tells you that she is ‘Intense, passionate and very expressive’. Well, you will know about that once you read her fiery letter addressed to the people of this nation below. And oh! Did I tell you she is a classical dancer? No? Well, she is. And also she is seeking a man who would dance to her tunes forever.

My dear fellow countrymen,

I hope this letter finds you all good… Or, maybe not. Because, I’m not. I don’t seem to have the good spirits anymore. How can one have, after having one look at the headlines of the newspapers? Headlines which seem to be screaming out countless cases of Gang rape, Child abuse, Acid attacks, Molestation. The count which keeps increasing everyday. And each more horrifying than the last. Each... more cruel.

Worked Up

Traffic Jam on the main road leading to airport at eleven in the night, this city is choking on its own traffic. Streets are extended gutters and gutters are filled with torn chips packets and empty plastic cola bottles on which ‘please recycle’ is written, so small that you have to strain your eyes to read it. Even at this time of the night, the heat is unbearable with humidity adding to the discomfort.

Threesome

TA was in his typical philosophical mood. “See guys” he explained to the two unassuming girls who were trying to make head and toe of whatever he was trying to say. “For example, The President of a country cannot hangout like a common man. The more important you are, the less free you become. I don’t think you ought to complain about lack of freedom in your hostels. That means, you students of Kunjibeevathu are more important to this college than the dumbasses back in MH. You understand what am trying to say?”

“Oh! Quite right. You are the man, TA” said the girls, pretending to be impressed by the gibberish.

In the days running upto the ‘College Day’, the girls were allowed to stay back in campus for a little while longer than usual for decorations and stuffs. Hannah and Meena, along with TA, their group mate, were sitting near the parking lot in front of canteen discussing how cool the ‘MJ’ of the Titans looked when the discussion inevitably veered into how girls in college were treated like Prisoners.

Code Name Shatru

CHAPTERT I : The Presentation

It was a usual sleepy day. Same old, nothing much to look forward to. As we entered the college we saw auditorium was pepped up. An event or something, maybe. Ah! Perfect excuse to cut the first hour. We changed out course, walked into audi.

It looked like an inauguration of a youth club. All were second years’, fresh faces, seemingly enthusiastic about this venture. It was nice to see them come out and take charge. Good.

“no! no! I dint ask you to do it this way.” A guy was shouting. He was tall, fairly good looking, lanky, bespectacled guy with week old stubble. Must be the brain behind all this, we realized. “Its really frustrating when I have got to be the lone one who have to manage everything” he was telling his mates.

Quite an interesting character, we thought. We had already typecast him.

CLOCKWORK ORANG

“We don’t deserve to live” said Aniyettan sitting on his haunches and taking a deep puff from the ‘Gold’ he had in his pockets since yesterday. It was Ayinoonu night, Marriage was next day. The whole family was downstairs gossiping after the dinner when the guys decided to take a break on the terrace. That’s when Aniyettan said this. He was unusually senti and no one knew why. Nothing was wrong with him till evening, they had observed.

Fuzz: More Random Thoughts

Marking the instrument on P&ID and making Inspection Test plans on the excel sheets. He sat there wondering if this is it.

“Concentrate” his boss had told him the other day “do not expect anything technical, this is what you have to do now”.

He got Goosebumps.  He looked around… A room filled with A4 sheets, Xerox copies, big files, markers, computers with open excel sheets and PDFs, a cup of tea every two hours and occasional trips to the water cooler.

No, this can’t be it. This should not be it. At least that was not the plan.

Irresponsibly Yours...

“You are such an irresponsible ass” shouted my roommate Yosee. Wait! Who? me? Of all the words I have expected myself to be called, that word was not one of them. “Oh! Yes… Irresponsible” sang the rest of my mates in unison.

Well… maybe then. So during the one and half hour bus journey from college to Thrichur, I switched myself into Self Analysis Mode. And know what? I have given everyone all the reason for them to call me that.

To be brief, I have in my four years of college life lost… two wallets with around seven hundred bucks, two drafters which is an important engineering instrument, seven pen drives of which three of them were not mine, i.e around 20GB of important data. (I even got death threats from one of the guys from whom I borrowed one of the lost pen drives), two calculators, another very important instrument, and again both of them which weren’t mine. Four headsets (all of them mine), wasted a phone by jumping into water completely forgetting about its presence in my pockets, Never ever had proper studying materials during the exam seasons, became an editor of a magazine which never saw light. Huh! What a loser. And now, Yosee’s lab record which is one whole semester’s hard work.

... Of Mothers / Managers

Having a classical dance teacher as your mother is a pretty tough condition. You know, for one, you’ll be waking upto those monotonous classical songs every day, you’ll be subjected to thunderous ‘tha-thayyams’ during the class hours, you’ll have young girls running around your house yelling at each other, you’ll have their mothers gossiping in the drawing room till the classes get over everyday ( that means putting up fake smile to hide the irritation for not being able to watch T.V for at least four hours) and worst the only subject your mother happen to speak will be about ‘adavus’, ‘mudras’, ‘thillanas’, and the various artists in the field…. which all comes across as Na’vi to me. But that’s irrelevant; the topic I am writing is actually about the mothers/managers of the students.

Who wants to be the Good Guy?!?

“Don’t worry… You are the Good Guy” said my friend to cheer me up when I was complaining to her about life’s unfairness. “Remember, good guys get the girl in the end” she suffixed.

Ya, right. Thought I. Get the girl in the end. In the end?? Ha! So senseless. You see, this guy goes through all the trouble throughout, loses everything he has and is in a complete state of perdition during the whole first half. He spends the most of second half planning revenge with a girl who helps him out of pity. His lone friend is killed or loses a leg to villain’s tyranny. He is sad, dejected, disappointed and angry unless until the last ten minutes.

The bad guy on the other hand is suave and cool. He has all the fun. He gets to beat up the good guy in the beginning, has loads of money to do every sort of stuffs, gets to sing an item song while shaking legs with a hot girl, have cool dialogues accompanied by a weird laugh throughout, except for the last ten minutes when he is shot in head at point blank by the good guy after a short chase.

So, when everything starts looking bright for the good guy, the movie ends. Now!! Who the f*k wants to be the good guy??

WHEN WE DECIDED TO BUILD OUR OWN AVATAR!!

It is not really Star-Trek teleportation, but being transplanted to another place as a robot is really cool. So did we found out. It all started with an article in IEEE Spectrum (09/10) by EricoGuizzo (When my avatar went to work) explaining the nuances of a telepresence robot, that really hooked us. In it, he explained how his creation QB, lets remote workers collaborate with others in ways that a wall mounted monitor in a conference room could never permit.

Free Fall

Suddenly.... there was no ground beneath my feet. It all happened in a fraction of a second. I was swiped off my feet and pushed into thin air. I was in a free fall condition.

I was weightless, felt the adrenaline rush through my veins. I experienced the ecstasy of a sky diver. At that precise moment, I realized the intensity of the situation. The thought that I may hit the ground with a big 'THUD' any moment ran chill down my spines. I tried to hold on to anything in a desperate act but couldn't get anything. It was completely dark, I closed my eyes and felt the wind on my face.

I tried to slow my fall by spreading my arms and legs. But the air resistance was negligible compared to the weight of my body. I was still accelerating downwards at 9.8 metres per second square. With every passing moment my potential energy was getting converted to kinetic energy. I tried to cry for help, but the voice coming out of my mouth was blurred and indecipherable.

The fall was taking its toll on me, I was feeling dizzy. In those moments I realized that I have been completely vanished from the phase of the earth. I thought about my parents, my friends, would they be worrying about my state of existence or do they... even care. How can I expect a significant response from them when my input into the life had been negligible.

My whole life flashed before my eyes. I felt wasted. With what aim had been my life designed by the Great Engineer, I wondered. And how terribly have I deployed from the basic principles to work on own fuzzy logics. Frustrations....

My mind wondered, Now where was I falling. Considered all the possibilities. There was no exact answer. Uncertainty principle rules out exactness. Everything has a probability, a chance defined by a number between 0 and 1.

Probably, I was falling into a deep pit from where there could be no possible escape and I would have to stay there for eternity. Wonder if there could be any water below to cushion my fall. Or maybe I was falling right into center of the earth, where all mass is concentrated, where due to intense heat and pressure, everything is in molten state and maybe where I'd have to remain as a chunk of mass till the death of the planet.
Possibly it could be a wormhole which may lead me to a completely new place in the universe, where Time has no meaning and all the fundamental laws of physics fail. Or maybe.... I was getting liberated. From this tyrannous world, I was nearing the ultimate energy. 'Moksha' I thought.
I felt at peace.

"Hey, You!!!" I was interrupted by a noise.

Who may that be now? Any new form of life which is angry with me because I unknowingly entered its territory and breached its solitude. Or..... Or was that sound of the Great Engineer Himself.

"Do, thannoder" (malayalam meaning, 'hey,you'). I opened my eyes.

"THUD!!!"

Jaya miss was standing before me. Damn this was electrical period and I dozed off. I stood up, looked around, everyone was looking at me and laughing.

"Well, Sharat. If you want to sleep you need not sit in my class." she said.
I put up a lame smile. She walked back to the front rows and continued with her class. I looked at my watch, 12:10 it read. Five more minutes, I thought. I tried to copy the equations on the board into my notebook. The teacher walked towards me again and asked
"Enthinaa.. Padhikkane???" (mal: "Why do you bother??")

MINDCASTING!!

Before you people get any weird thoughts, let me explain that by the word ‘mindcasting’, I’m not referring to process of attaching a sensor device into the brain to study the brain wave pattern like in EEG and all. No, this is not a technical article. I’m referring to a fad that has taken over us in the recent times. A fun, which has become a craze, and which is slowly turning into an obsession.

FuzZ!!!

SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS

I woke up with a start to the music of my ringing cellphone. I had this sudden urge to pick it up and throw it far, disrupting my sleep damned inanimate object!!! I got up and reached for it, but before I could pick it up, black words appeared in white background “1 Missed Call”, huh!! couldn't care less. I tossed the phone back onto my bed. I looked at the clock, 10.30 it read.

Ahh! Third time this week that I overslept and missed my morning classes. My attendance is falling short, but I didn't care. My classes were all boring and encouraged rote learning. They didn't encouraged me to think out of the box. As a child, I was told not to make noise, run around or play free. As an adolescent, I was told to follow the crowd. I was told, not to be different from the rest. Being different meant being crazy. I did not ask, even though I had doubts. I did not comment, eventhough I had strong points in a debate. And I was a normal child they said.